Mothers are the pillars upon which society stands. They are the ships in stormy waters that carry passengers to safety. Mothers are perhaps the most remarkable people in our communities because of their capacity to love. A mother’s love is like nothing else in this world. It’s fierce yet gentle. Loud yet quiet. Unrelenting yet unyielding. A mother’s love is a thing at one moment and something else the next, changing and transforming with a child’s needs. But it is always there. Never does it waver. Not once.
So for Mother’s Day, a day that celebrates all the immense and beautiful things our mothers do for us, I thought it would be fun to interview my mother. I wanted to delve into her history, to learn more about her. I recently noticed that whenever my mother regales me with a story from her past, I always come back to one question: ‘Was this before I was born?’ It’s difficult for us to imagine, but our mothers are whole individuals who led extraordinary lives before we came along. Once we can understand that, we can understand that our mothers are deeply fascinating individuals with a store of amazing stories. They are incredible women with fears and dreams and identities of their own.
I assume that every person on the planet believes that their mother is the very best one. It is human nature because we love our mothers almost as much as they love us. But I believe my mother, Bhavisha Zaveri, is truly special among this category of brilliant women. She is a person who loves without measure. Her love knows no bounds. She cares for the people in her life so deeply and kindly, sometimes it shocks me because I couldn’t imagine that someone’s heart was capable of such love. My mom has always supported me, whether it’s for my dreams or with arguments against dad, she’s always on my side. She gave me the greatest gift I could have ever asked for: she believed in me. And because of that, and because of her constant love, I am the person I am today. I owe it all to her. I thought that everyone should get a glimpse into the kind of person she is, so here it is!
Q1.What is the best part of being a mother?
Oh, there are so many amazing parts! But I think what tops the list is to bring a new life into this world. For me, it’s a blessing to be able to bring people like you and your older brother into the world. I loved raising you both and watching you grow into amazing people
Q2.What is the most annoying part of me?
(My mother laughs for a good thirty seconds)
You know I love you very, very much, but there are certain times when you get irritated for no reason. You stomp around the house angry at something and everyone can feel the anger through the house. You are especially cranky when you are sleepy or hungry. But as your mother, it’s my job to bear your unwarranted annoyance, so I don’t really mind much.
Q3.Be honest, who do you love more, my brother or me?
(My mother bursts into laughter once more. This is an argument we’ve had many times!)If you asked any mother that, we would all give you the same answer: we love all our children equally. It’s impossible to love one of your children more than the other, but I do believe there’s a difference in the way you love them. Your second child is the one that needs more attention and love, and because they’re younger you will tend to take their side more. It’s a subconscious decision. Your eldest child, on the other hand, has already grown up and is independent. They don’t rely on you as much as the younger ones. That doesn’t mean you don’t love them as much. After all, your first child was the first person in the world to call you mother.
Q4.What do you and dad usually fight about?
Well, your dad and I are always quipping at each other. It’s simply a part of marriage. It would be dull without all the yelling and angry slide glancing. Whenever your dad gets mad at you or your brother, I usually get mad at him. Plus, I’m pretty sure his snores can be heard all the way on the other side of Mumbai. Most of the time we fight though, I apologize first. Your father is much too proud to do it first, but in those rare occasions when he is truly wrong he does apologize.
Q5.As a child, what did you want to become?
I always wanted to do something in biology. The subject was so very interesting to me, and I was actually good at it. But life had other plans for me, and I wouldn’t trade what I’ve had in my life for anything in the world because I got to watch you and your brother grow up, and it was the best part of my life.
Q6.What’s the advice you would give to your younger self?
Knowledge is a privilege. Whenever and however you can, learn as much as you possibly can. Learn and study and consume knowledge when you have the opportunity because not everyone has it.
Q7.What advice would you give me?
Oh, you are such a capable and smart young girl, there’s nothing left I have to teach you. (What did I say? She’s always supporting me!) But if I had to give you advice, it would be the cliché ‘Follow your dreams.’ I have seen what you want to do with your words, the stories you want to write and I want you to make sure you never let those dreams die, no matter what the world tells you. Other than that, just be kind, humble, help those around you.
Q8.Do you see any parts of me in you?
Oh, yes, of course! Everything! You’re practically a mini-me. Firstly, you look exactly like I did when I was your age. Relatives often say that you’re a carbon copy, like a Xerox. We both have a love for reading, and we liked the same subjects: languages, geography, so on. Also, I believe you got your terrible math skills from me. (Thanks mom.) But you’re also loving and caring, and are always on my side. You’re incredibly organized, just like me!
Q9.What is it like to be an adult?
You are burdened with a lot of responsibility, mothers especially. It’s important that you are responsible and organized, but at the same time, you are kind and loving and always fun to your children. You need to manage your life, without any of that stress piling onto your children, so being an adult is a lot about managing things.
Q10.What, according to you, is love?
Love comes in many distinct forms. I remember my daughter once told me the Greeks have 7 different words for love, each corresponding to a uniquely different bond. To me, love in any form is trying to understand each other, to be king and give space to each other. Love is a strong bond between people, be it mother and daughter or husband and wife. I believe mutual respect is also a significant part of love.
Q11.What is your favorite memory of us?
I think my very favourite memory is the day you first started school. You were so small, already in your uniform and pigtails, bouncing up and down with that gigantic backpack on your shoulders. You couldn’t wait to get in the car. After that, you loved school. You would run away whenever I came to pick you up. And I always loved you coming home and excitedly telling me about each and everything you did at school. It was one of my favourite parts of the day.
