Seventeen-year-old Mallikarjun believes that ‘Mardangi’ is a rule made by society. Contributing equally to household chores, he wants to break the stereotype that boys and men should only focus on finding a job and earning a living.
Mallikarjun has been an active participant at the Equal Community Foundation (ECF), an NGO whose mission is to raise every boy in India to be gender-equitable since 2009. Earlier, he was not respectful to his peers and elders, but all of this changed when he became part of ECF’s program. In his own way, this 17-year-old on the cusp of adulthood has been an agent of change. Here’s how: In Mallikarjun’s neighbourhood in a community in Pune, he got to know that a girl wasn’t able to wear the clothes she wanted to and faced restrictions in the house. Through the dialogue and negotiation skills he learned at ECF’s gender-equitable sessions, he was able to have a conversation with the girl’s family and convince them how she had a right to wear whatever she felt like.
Today, Mallikarjun is of the opinion that women and girls should be equal decision-makers at home and he supports them by making them a part of every discussion especially when events and festivals are planned.
While we may have heard stories of how boys are a part of the problem, here’s celebrating boys who are positive role models and believe in inequality.
Won’t you want to read what this Little Human has to share with us? #BoyhoodMatters
Q. Hello! Can you tell me what are your hobbies and the things that you like to do?
I enjoy playing cricket and spending time doing household chores!
Q. How have you been spending your time during the pandemic and the lockdown? How have you been feeling?
I have been doing things around the house and outside, attending ECF’s classes and looking for jobs simultaneously.
Q. What changed for you in the pandemic? Did you notice any difference in your household activities and chores amidst the several lockdowns?
Having to spend all my time at home took its toll on me but I have tried not to become lazy by actively participating in household chores.
Q. How do you contribute to house chores? How do your parents, siblings, grandparents, relatives and other friends react?
I can do all household chores and my family is very appreciative. My friends saw me and began to share responsibilities at home too. They came back and told me!
Q. What do you think about growing up as a boy? Is it different from growing up as a girl? If yes, can you share how is it different? If not, can you share how it is the same?
A. There is a lot of difference growing up as a boy and as a girl! While I have the freedom to do whatever I like, a girl is expected to take care of things at home first.
Q. How long have you been part of the sessions conducted by the ECF foundation?
A. I have been part of ECF since 2017
Q. What happens in these sessions? Can you describe it to me?
A. We talk about gender, gender-based violence, laws, addiction. We talk about sharing responsibilities at home and we learn how to express our views and opinions more confidently and take a stand, particularly regarding human rights and rights violations, about gender equality.
Q. What is your favourite part of these sessions?
I like that we are able to come together as a group to work for change. I am happy that I have been able to make changes in myself as well.
Q. How are the sessions different from other activities that you may have been part of?
In other sessions you just have to pay attention, sit and listen but in ECF’s sessions we are asked what we feel about different topics and given the space to share.
Q. What are some of the gender stereotypes that you have started to question? Can you share examples with me?
In my neighbourhood, there is a girl on whom restrictions were placed related to her clothing and she was not allowed to wear what she wanted. I spoke to her family members to support her and convince them that she too has the right to dress the way she wants and live the way she likes.
Q. What were some of the changes that you saw before joining the sessions and after going through the program?
I never used to lift a finger at home before and was not very respectful in the way I spoke with my elders or peers. All of this has changed since joining the programme.
Q. Can you describe the sessions in one word?
We work on equality!
Q. What is your take on ‘Mardaangi’?
Mardaangi is a rule made by society, that’s all it is!
Q.What are some of the stereotypes of being a boy you want to talk about?
I want to break the stereotype that boys should only focus on getting a job and work outside. Boys should be able to work at home and girls too should be able to go out and earn a living.
Q. How do you support women and girls? How do you become an ally?
Women and girls should be equal decision-makers at home, I support them by making them a part of the discussion when events and festivals are planned.
Q. A message you would like to share for all young boys your age?
We must take action to stop gender-based violence. We should also not indulge in substance abuse and stop our friends from doing the same.
